Getting it right on sex education

THE EDITOR, Madam:

I was 14 years old when I had my first formal sex education lesson. It was taught by the school's guidance counsellor, with whom I had no relationship. As she walked into the classroom, I held my breath and froze in place. The only thing I remembered from that lesson was "abstinence makes sense". She had asked us to repeat it over and over, but I doubt she noticed the frozen girl sitting in the middle of her lesson.

Even though my mom and I had "the chat" when I was nine years old, I was still uncomfortable. The same discomfort surfaced when she taught us about having a period in the presence of male classmates.

Now, was she doing the right thing? Yes.

Was the intention behind the message to inform or educate? Again, yes.

So, what was the problem?

Well, the problem was that she did not build rapport with us. There were no ground rules established, no reassurance that we could express our ideas or misconceptions without being judged or reprimanded, no invitation to speak with her about some of our discomforts, and no reassurance that my period was a normal part of who I am as a girl and the possibility that boys needed this information too.

"Abstinence makes sense" resounded in my mind for years, and yes, that was an important message. But what about those who intended to try sex, despite the abstinence mantra?

– What were the best ways of protecting themselves?

– What about those who got pregnant in high school?

I admit that Relationship Sex Education (RSE) was not as progressive then, but now we have more resources. We also have a greater need to get this information to our young people as they are interacting with social media daily, and there are a lot of misconceptions out there.

Now, how do we get this right...

Intention:

Before sharing content with your students, it's crucial to determine your intention. The aim should never be to shock, manipulate or shame them.

Set the Tone: Reassure your students that this is a safe environment where they can feel comfortable sharing their opinions.

Set the Ground Rules: Work with your students to establish ground rules.

Language: Be aware aware of key terminology. Ensure that your language is inclusive.

Content: Your content should be guided by endorsed sources. It should also be relevant, accurate, inclusive, and age appropriate.

Assessment: We do not formally grade PSHE & RSE as we do with other subjects, so it is recommended that a baseline assessment is done at the start of the lesson.

KEDESHA BLAKE-HUGGINS

Personal development catalyst